The problem with time is how it marches on, no matter what you’re doing. However, that’s also the blessing of time. Vacation days pass on, but so do days weighted with grief or anxiety. On days when I wake up anxious, I know, from experience, that if I can just get through the day, the anxiety will start to wash out as the day passes. By evening I can feel the tide of release start to seep in.
I’m in the midst of a time out. I’m on vacation, with no concrete plans, no trip itinerary or rental cottage, just days off, time out. David and I get up in the morning, drink our cappuccino, and talk about what we’ll do for the day, which isn’t necessarily what we’ll do. I’m handling this remarkably well for me. There are moments of feeling the time off, time out, slipping through my hands, worrying that vacation is passing, but when I do go back to work, those days will pass too.
When we sit on the porch to get out of the sun, we can see the morning glories I planted this year, blue throats open to the day, big blue faces on the vine that’s crawling up a string I strung from the eave of the barn. The flowers open in the morning, then close up by late afternoon. Glory, glorious, timed to be enjoyed, and then pass.
Grace Mattern 