As we moved in to summer I started crying, the light letting the sad memories in — how sick Chris was on the 4th of July last year, being in Humarock without Chris and thinking about what it’s like for her widower and sons to have that hole in their traditional family beach time, what it’s like for my parents. But our family time in Humarock was also sweet, lots of family still gathered in a beautiful spot.
I don’t mind the crying. It’s been balanced with the joy of having youth around me. Yesterday I sent Adrienne a chat and asked her to snap the kids for me through the day, happy enough just to see Emilio and Ava but knowing there was the bonus of two more children there over the weekend, adorable child video riches. And I got to share those videos with the youngsters here, Melia and Mackenzie and a crew of their friends, of course not as young as the grandkids but still much younger than me, in lives that are still expanding and reaching out and full of energy and hope.
Not that I don’t reach out still, but more and more I’m content with what I know I love best. Home, family, close friends, garden, time at my desk to write. It’s not only me. This is a researched phenomenon. As people age, they more and more value time with a closer circle of people and experiences. We’ve learned what we like and know there’s limited time left to enjoy it. We get more careful about how to spend our time when there’s less of it to spend.
Being with our kids and grandkids is top of the list, always. I realized this weekend David and I never mediate when we’re with our kids in spite of being regular mediators otherwise. We don’t need it.
So my sad weekend was also a great weekend. I love a full house, the crowd in the kitchen, the meals with multiple palates contributing to the taste, the conversations and laughing at stories, coffee and toast on the deck in morning sun, cocktails and beer on the porch in the evening. Now I have a line full of laundry, flags of the pleasure being with loved ones brings, soaking up the energy of youth
How lucky we are.
Grace Mattern 
Love is all you need. Thanks Grace.
Life can be simple if we let it, right? It’s always great to hear from you.
Grace, I am a few months ahead of you in the grieving process- I now have lived through ever first there is without Greg. First of each holiday, first summer, autumn, winter and spring. I am now working on fulfilling Greg’s dictate- go on without me. Life is good.
How nice to hear from you, Bev. I’m so sorry for your loss and your having to move through the grief process. But I’m glad to know you are going on – what choice do we have? – and that life is good. For me too. All best to you.