Big Stone

A year ago today, not by the date but by the day, Emilio was born, early in the morning.  I came back to Adrienne and Matt’s house to get a few hours of sleep, after having been up for most of two nights.  Sam woke up when I came in and I called up the stairs to him.  “You’re an uncle, and you win, you have a nephew.”  He was really hoping for a boy.

This morning Adrienne brought Emilio in to me, in bed, a bit before 7:00.  She went back to sleep, and I lay under the covers with Emilio tucked up next to me.  Adrienne had handed him a little plastic penguin and he slapped it against the pillow, over and over.  We were both drifting a bit in the early light just starting to come through the window blinds, warm and comfortable.

Then I heard my phone vibrate, and a few moments later, vibrate again.  I got up to the expected text from David.  His mother died early this morning, he was going to bed to try to get a few hours of sleep.

What a year it’s been.


About Grace Mattern

Grace Mattern is a poet, writer, mother, grandmother, partner, friend, family member, gardener, triathlete, hiker and for 30 years was the Executive Director of the NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence. She resigned her position at the Coalition on June 15, 2011 in order to concentrate on her writing, while continuing to engage in the movement to end violence against women as a consultant and advisor. Her chapbook Fever of Unknown Origin was published in 2001 and her full-length poetry book The Truth About Death was published in 2012.
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4 Responses to Big Stone

  1. Barb says:

    The whole cycle. Amid happiness, sadness lurks

  2. Sorry for your sadness once again. Peace comes through acceptance and growth. Writing it out helps.

  3. says:

    Hi Grace,
    i just discovered you because I googled “floating in a river as surrender” for a parent letter I am writing based on the book Surrender to Love by David Benner. I am very interested in you and your writings. From what I have discovered so far you have experienced birth and loss and then rebirth. That is also the story of my life. “Grace’ is the predominate theme of my life because otherwise I would not be here to write this to you. I look forward to growing with you.

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